The Forgotten Parents: Why Adoption Leave Excludes the Self-Employed
Written by Sophie Sulehria
This week we marked World Adoption Day - a day dedicated to honouring families formed not by biology, but by connection, commitment and love. It is a moment to celebrate the thousands of parents who open their homes and hearts to children who need one. It is a day of positivity, visibility and awareness.
Yet, beneath the graphics, hashtags and heart-on-hand selfies, there sits a truth most people have never heard: Self-employed parents who adopt are not entitled to statutory adoption leave. They are not entitled to statutory adoption pay. They are not entitled to any equivalent financial support.
For employed adopters, the law recognises the need for bonding, security and attachment. For self-employed adopters, the law offers silence. And in silence lives a barrier - one that prevents people from adopting, and ultimately keeps children waiting for permanent, loving homes.
What the Law Offers, Depending on the Route You Take:
If you are employed and adopt a child, you are legally entitled to:
Up to 52 weeks of adoption leave.
Up to 39 weeks of statutory adoption pay.
Paid time off for adoption appointments.
The guaranteed right to return to your job.
If you are self-employed, you get none of the above. No leave. No statutory pay. No guaranteed financial support. Not because bonding is less important. Not because the child needs less time. Not because the transition is less significant. Simply because you don’t fit the employment criteria. For many people who reach adoption after years of fertility treatment - emotionally drained, financially depleted and desperate to become parents - that gap is not just unjust. It is prohibitive.
Adoption Is Not A “Backup” Option
At The Fertility Show we meet people across every path to parenthood: IVF, donor conception, surrogacy, adoption and, for some, finally choosing to live childfree not by choice. Some people choose adoption first. Many reach it after loss, after years of trying, after grieving the family they imagined. But what becomes clear is that adoption is never Plan B. Adoption is a route to parenthood in its own right. Yet, once adoption becomes the path, the support available shrinks. And that contradiction becomes even more striking when you look at what adoption agencies prioritise in prospective parents, which is time, presence, emotional availability. They look for parents who can be flexible, responsive and consistent - qualities that many self-employed people inherently have. Ironically, the very flexibility social workers praise makes the parental leave system punish them.
During the adoption assessment process, prospective adopters must prove financial stability. They are asked to explain exactly how they will manage taking time off to care for their new child. If they cannot demonstrate a plan, their suitability may be questioned. Yet in the same breath, the system denies them financial support that would enable that time. It is a contradiction almost too absurd to believe, that we would ask adoptive parents to be financially robust, while withholding the very support that would allow them to be.
The Comparison That Exposes the Inequity
To understand the gap, we need to compare how self-employed birth parents are treated versus self-employed adoptive parents. Self-employed birth parents can apply for Maternity Allowance - a weekly payment for up to 39 weeks – provided they meet the minimum earnings criteria. They do not get statutory maternity pay because they are not employees, but there is still a financial safety net.
Self-employed adopters are excluded from adoption pay entirely. They cannot claim Maternity Allowance, because they did not give birth. They cannot claim Statutory Adoption Pay or Leave, because they are not employed. The only possible support is a one-off, means-tested discretionary payment from local authorities. It is not guaranteed, varies by region, and is often so small that it fails to fund more than a few weeks off.
So to be clear: two children can enter a new home under two different circumstances, but only one route triggers financial protection for bonding. One child is entitled to a parent who stays home. The other is expected to make do. What message does that send about the worth of adoptive families? I know for my self-employed self, I couldn’t consider adoption due to this. Plus also, and arguably most importantly, what message does that send to a child who has already experienced loss?
Real Families. Real Impact. Evidence of Systemic Failure.
One of the most powerful voices fighting this issue is a campaigner known online as NFM - a self-employed adoptive mother who has spent years pushing for change in this area. She has worked with prominent children’s charities, launched a petition that gathered more than 16,000 signatures and triggered a parliamentary debate on statutory adoption pay.
In her book “What Makes a Mum“ published in 2024, she writes about taking the issue to Westminster. She sat in Parliament and listened as statements were read out, such as:
“More than 80,000 children are in care. Anything we can do to get permanence for those children must be to their benefit and society’s benefit.”
“Adoption leave is considered essential when someone is employed, yet not essential if someone is self-employed. Children need time to bond regardless of their parents’ employment status.”
“I had to self-fund every part of my adoption leave. No safety net. No support.”
MPs agreed change was needed, the Government acknowledged the gap exists. And yet, nothing changed. Acknowledgement did not become action.
A Policy Built on Yesterday’s Family Structure
The failure to support adoptive families is part of a much wider problem. The UK has one of the least generous parental leave systems in the developed world. Paid maternity leave is worth less than half the national living wage. Fathers get just two weeks of paternity leave. Self-employed parents get no shared parental leave, no paternity leave and no adoption leave.
The entire system is built on an outdated assumption that there are two parents, one secure job and one steady employer. That was never everybody’s reality, and today, it is further from reality than ever.
Families That Fall Through the Cracks
Self-employed adopters are not the only ones shut out. Single parents face leave entitlement, but typically no ability to share it, resulting in major financial pressure. Kinship carers - grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles who step in when parents cannot care for a child - are often excluded unless they have legal parental responsibility. Students raising a child rarely qualify for statutory pay at all. Parental leave policy has just not caught up with the diversity of modern families and still prioritises one type of household, one type of parent.
Change Is (Slowly) Coming, But Not Fast Enough
Under pressure from campaigners, the UK Government has finally launched an 18-month review of parental leave and pay, covering:
Maternity
Paternity
Adoption
Shared parental leave
Kinship care leave
For the first time, the review explicitly states that it will examine the experiences of:
Self-employed parents
Single parents
Kinship carers
Student parents
But change could take until 2027, and for families already waiting, that is too long. Meanwhile many adopted children have lived through trauma, neglect, instability or multiple moves. Attachment theory and trauma science are unequivocal: children need time to build trust. They need consistency. They need a parent who is emotionally and physically present. A child does not require less bonding time because their parent files a tax return instead of a payslip. When the law denies support to self-employed adopters, it sends a message that adoptive bonding is optional. And that could not be further from the truth.
We Cannot Fight for IVF Rights While Ignoring Adoption Rights
The conversation about protecting people undergoing fertility treatment - particularly the push for IVF leave - is finally reaching Parliament. We must protect IVF patients. They should not have to hide treatment from employers, use annual leave to attend medical appointments or risk losing income to access healthcare. But the conversation cannot stop at conception.
Many people who go on to adopt have already been through years of fertility treatment, experienced profound grief and loss and also spent their savings trying to conceive. Asking them to self-fund parental leave on top of that is cruel.
IVF patients deserve protection, adoptive parents deserve protection, and self-employed families deserve protection.
What Needs to Change
Three steps would transform lives:
Introduce Adoption Allowance for the self-employed Equivalent to Maternity Allowance – recognising that bonding is essential for every family.
Define adoption leave as a child welfare issue, not an employment issue The child needs the time, not the parent’s job title.
Ensure adopters are explicitly included in the parental leave review Not as an afterthought. As a priority.
At The Fertility Show, we meet parents on every path - no route is more legitimate than another. Whether a child is born or placed, the need remains the same…time to become a family. If society values children, it must support the adults who choose them.
To anyone reading this who is considering adoption, or who wants to push for change:
Contact your Regional Adoption Agency.
Ask your local authority about adoption support funding.
Write to your MP urging them to include adoption support in the parental leave review.
We are behind you.